Living Like Animals

After a few days, i just cannot stand it and i have to post this.
I know i have to be patient but how can i help myself?
People keep on telling me to be patient, sabar, sabar,...
SABAR WHAT FUCK YOU!
Things don't always and won't always go as i wanted.
Why?
I just want to go back home and make things easy for myself.
Finish everything that has to be done back in Kuching and just let me enjoy my life!
FUCK THE WHOLE WORLD!
I HATE IT!!

Because of this i couldn't join my friends from college who are in Kuching now..
Because of this i couldn't take care of myself.
Because of this i couldn't do anything...
Nothing nothing, this is all a waste of time for me.
You think I'm happy?
Look at me all deaf both ears now, still sick, having cough and flu that never stop for more than a month already and how can i have enough rest?

I CAN GO CRAZY ONE DAY...
FUCK YOU ALL FUCK THE UNIVERSE FUCK AND FUCK AND FUCK!
I WANT TO KILL PEOPLE AGAIN!

I want to be Saw's successor and kill everyone that made my life so fucking miserable.

And the list of them to be killed, i have it already..
and guess what?
Both my ears are deaf now.
I am going to die.